BREAK

It doesn't matter what we're talking about, whether our bodies or or minds, flexibility is our greatest strength.  Otherwise we break.

BEST

When I was younger we had several sets of clothes.  There would be the clothes we'd wear to church, or for visiting relatives, another set for school and then a third set for playing around.  It was a prudent thing to do if you had more kids than money to constantly buy new clothes for.  You had to hold the best back so you wouldn't go broke.

I've noticed that people hold back the best of themselves too, as if their kindness, compassion and joy needs to be rationed because there's a finite amount.  The reality is that unlike clothes for kids, the more you use the best the more there is to use.  When you give your kindness, compassion and joy to others, it comes back to you in heaps.  

Now more than ever don't hold back, the world needs our best.  

FALL

How do you hope to help another person up if you've never fallen down yourself?

It is out of our own struggles that we attain the insight we need to help ourselves up when we've fallen.  It is from battling our own demons that we discover our own grace in reaching back to help another. 

We can't understand any of this if we don't risk.  If we don't do what feels scary, if we don't push ourselves to reach beyond what our fear tells us is safe.

DISTANCE

The cause of a lot of anxiety for a lot of people is the distance between who they think they want to be and who they perceive themselves to be right now.  The distance is created by the misguided notion that their true selves is something they have to strive toward in some distant future.  

We are ourselves in this very moment.  Dig under the crap and you’ll see.

DEFINE

Take inventory of what has come to define you.  Is that who you want to be?  What labels have you allowed to be adhered to you, is that truly who you are?

PAUSE

Sit still and let the moment of reflection linger.  Stave off the temptation to obliterate all the reminders of warmth and compassion that were stirred to the surface.  Hold that kindness within you for just a minute longer, and then a minute longer after that, and another after that, and another...

GRATITUDE

Pause and think of the many people who would give anything to be where you are right now.

CHARITY

You could write a cheque at this time of year and clear your responsibility for others off your to do list.  The far more meaningful thing to do, especially at this busy time, is to volunteer.  It’s so much more meaningful. 

A cheque will never be able to convey the sparkle of gratitude in someone’s eyes or the warm smile of appreciation.  And charity is not meant to be measured in dollars and cents, the real value of charity is in how it can strengthen the connection between our common humanity.

COUNTERINTUITIVE

Some of the most valuable lessons we learn are actually counterintuitive.  Like when we want to rush in and fix someone, when we want to save them from pain.  We come to find out the absolute opposite will do the most good.  Pain is memorable, a lesson learned through some pain will stick.   

VAMPIRES

LOVE THIS.  BY WHO ELSE?  SETH GODIN 'CAUSE IT'S BRILLIANT.

"Vampires, of course, feed on something that we desperately need but also can't imagine being a source of food.

You have metaphorical vampires in your life. These are people that feed on negativity, on shooting down ideas and most of all, on extinguishing your desire to make things better.

Why would someone do that? Why would they rush to respond to a heartfelt and generous blog post with a snide comment about a typo in the third line? Why would they go out of their way to fold their arms, make a grimace and destroy any hope you had for changing the status quo?

Vampires cannot be cured. They cannot be taught, they cannot learn the error of their ways. Most of all, vampires will never understand how much damage they're doing to you and your work. Pity the vampires, they are doomed to this life.

Your garlic is simple: shun them. Delete their email, turn off comments, don't read your one-star reviews. Don't attend meetings where they show up. Don't buy into the false expectation that in an organizational democracy, every voice matters. Every voice doesn't matter--only the voices that move your idea forward, that make it better, that make you better, that make it more likely you will ship work that benefits your tribe.

It's so tempting to evangelize to the vampires, to prove them wrong, to help them see how destructive they are. This is food for them, merely encouragement.

Shun the ones who feed on your failures."

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2013/12/the-care-and-feeding-and-shunning-of-vampires.html

ENDINGS

Some things are meant to end.  Let them.

PRESENT

Uncertainty forces us to be present.  Sometimes people misinterpret being present with being still.  While true that we can be still and present at the same time like when we meditate for example.  Being present as we move through our daily lives however, is like moving down rows of fertile ground dropping seeds and moving on.  

In other words, we go about our day consciously living in each moment.  That conscious moment is our existence in the realm of uncertainty caught between the seed we’ve just dropped and the one we’re about to drop and the future desire that the seeds will sprout and grow and yield what we hope for.  

Being present is consciously living in trust and faith, in the uncertainty of whether things will turn out the way we need them to AND nevertheless continuing to drop those seeds of promise as we move along.

365

I was berating myself the other day for not having posted a blog in over 100 days.  What’s the point, I thought, so much time has passed, I can never catch up... and on and on.  Just as anxiety over failure and disappointment started to well up in my chest the little voice that comes from my heart and knows what’s real and true whispered, so what, start again today.

We have 365 chances to start.  There are 365 times Matilda, our primal lizard brain, our ego’s mouthpiece, can shut us down.  Stuck in the middle is our freedom to choose.

The bottom line?  We have 365 opportunities to choose.

What choice have you made today?

I ate badly all week, what’s the point...

OR

So what, I’ll start again today.

I haven’t worked out in a month, I’ll never catch up....

OR

So what, I’ll go today.

I disappointed my kids yesterday, they’ll never trust me again...

OR

So what, I will apologize and follow through on a promise today.

What have you said SO WHAT to today?  I’d love to know.

COWARDS

Rationalizations are for cowards.  If we're engaged in something that involves lying to others but most especially to ourselves then we need to stop rationalizing why it's okay to be cowards.  

LYING TO OURSELVES IS THE GREATEST LIE OF THEM ALL.

CRAP

While we get really annoyed when we have to deal with other people’s crap, it’s our own crap that’s the real problem.  So cherish the individuals in your life who see the authentic you because they’re the only ones capable of shoveling away this crap we so consistently insist on strewing across our own path.  

ENOUGH

Dimming your light so another's can shine is not leading with love, it's coming from lack because there is enough light for both of you.

ADJUSTMENT

The journey of our life is a series of adjustments.  The truth is we're off track most of the time, the trick is to pay attention and make those tweaks to get you back in the direction you want to go.

FREEDOM

The Buddha often said that wherever you find water, you can tell if it’s

the ocean because the ocean always tastes of salt. By the same token,

anywhere you find enlightenment —whatever improbable or unfamiliar

shape it may have assumed— you can tell it’s enlightenment

because enlightenment always tastes of freedom.

Not comfort. Not ease. Freedom.

~ Martha Beck

What an amazing distinction - comfort is often misunderstood as freedom, ease is often mistaken for freedom, but true freedom is neither comfortable nor easy.  Freedom is an imperative that leaves you no choice but to move toward the cliff and barely braced, compels you to jump off.  

If you’re scared to death because a decision you have to make is taking you like a fast moving train toward a 100 foot drop, then baby hang on, because you’re on the path to freedom.